"Be Still"...That is what I heard this morning when I woke up abruptly at 2:30 am. Those two words were just running circles in my mind. OVER and Over! Why did I hear this? Why did I think this? Why can I not stop thinking …Be Still? I just wanted to lay back down and go to sleep. I knew in a few hours the alarm clock would yell at me and I would be “mommy zombie”; back to pulling the covers off my kids warm toes and tugging them to get out of bed for school. “Okay Jenn, time close your eyes” I told myself. Nope...Still hearing the same two words..."Be Still". “Well, I am NOT STILL!” yelling into the air aloud. No one answered back thank goodness. Well, it was official. I was awake! Or losing it! Or Both!
Is this God? I honestly don't know. I have become very skeptical and indifferent about Church over the years. Let’s just say I was hurt deeply by people in church years ago and that scar has jaded my beliefs. Sunday has been my least favorite day of the week ever since. I don’t obviously go to church or read the bible much any more. I do watch services online every now and then but often wonder where God is at times in this crazy world. I guess you could call me as one pastor titled himself…”A Christian Atheist”!
But, I have a glimmer of hope. I have a desire too really see God in my life (outside the four walls of church on Sunday). To see something beautiful daily. To see if He IS there. So I have decided to “Be Still”.
I eventually fell asleep for a 30 minute cat nap and then woke up thinking…Today, I should start a "be still" project in this VERY LOUD place. By quietly recognizing moments and signs of affirmation from God each day/week through a series of photos (I am a photographer by trade)and maybe start a blog ... I need to see the goodness in life and then pass it on! We all need new perspective.
I want to see what 365 days will show me ...Here is today's still moment !
Day 1: Fortune Cookie...Words of Affirmation I should DO THIS!
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